The Story Of All Of Us

Photo By Henry Kowaleski

Once upon a time you were conceived. A bundle of potential, you were declared "good enough". In your personal Eden, life was complete. For a time you knew sufficiency.

Then you joined the outside world. Maybe this was met with rejoicing. Maybe it was met with silence and loneliness. Maybe you were cherished. Maybe you "cried too much".

And life happened. And the cherub slowly fell from grace.

So You Want to Bill Insurance (as a client)

If you plan to use insurance benefits for mental health, you might want to read this article first. What Your Therapist Hasn't Told You About Using Insurance.  Go ahead, this can wait!

Okay, if you still want to use insurance benefits for mental health, here's how to do best that.

How To Bill For Therapy (In-Network or HMO)

How To Outsmart Your Caveman Brain (Part 3)

This wont make sense unless you read Part 1 and Part 2 first.

How Use Neurological Understanding To Help Yourself

1. Discharge the body's threat response. 

We cannot live a life free from perceived threat. Our silly caveman brain is wired to search for it, convinced this will help us live. However, we can increase our awareness of the cycle and make a point to re-engage our Parasympathetic Nervous System (our Peace Survival state). Techniques that can do this include:

How To Outsmart Your Caveman Brain (Part 2)

(To understand this you will need to start by reading Part 1 first)

What Does It All Mean?

Okay so you've made it through the geeky explanations of Part 1. How does this ancient information play out in your modern body, brain and mind?

1. Your body spends too much time in "threat" mode. 

Remember how "Threat Survival" mode means your body stops doing everything irrelevant to surviving a predator? All of your energy, blood flow and oxygen go into your survival mode. Everything is dedicated to fight, flight, faint or freeze. This is hard on your body but it works when it's done briefly. It's a sacrifice worth making to outrun a predator. 

How To Outsmart Your Caveman Brain (Part I)

So you're a modern human. I get it. I love my Starbucks and my air conditioning as much as anyone. A client recently told me "you're just, like, a little bit of a hippie" and I think that probably sums it up. While I love the concept of natural, I also love mascara. It's a tough balance but someone has to do it.

The point is, this is not one more article about how everything used to be better in the old days. I don't think that's a complete picture. While our ancestors might have lived in tune with nature, they also died young and lived hard lives.
Just like mascara, I like to cherry-pick the things I appreciate about modern life and make them work with the outdated equipment I'm using called my body. And believe me, it is outdated. Because although our entire lives have been lived in modernity, our bodies and brains are the beneficiaries of slow evolution. Some things about modern life improve our frailties (like antibiotics!) While many others totally mess with us (like sleep deprivation).

So join me on a process of cherry-picking, okay? It's a bit geeky at first. But I think it will be worth it.

Why The Highly Successful Are Seeking Therapy

There is a strange idea that therapy is only for the very "lost". Despite evidence to the contrary, the ubiquitous stereotype of the analyst's couch and long years of talking... still seems to persist in the minds of many.  The truth is- therapy is more effective, fast-acting and meaningful than ever. As medical technology improves, it continues to strengthen the support for neurologically relevant and rapid therapies. And it turns out, we can all benefit from clearing the emotional path from time to time.

by Unsplash

I know this is true in my office. I see some extremely impressive and accomplished individuals and I love it! (Really, you know I wish I could share- but I can't! You will have to use your imaginations. ) It's a well-kept secret: highly successful and well-resourced people regularly seek therapy as an additional life-improvement tool.

Zero Dollars- Failed Guru

Hey. I'm glad you're here. I need to tell you something scandalous. Something that you rarely hear. Something that no one bothers to mention.

Are you ready?
Here it is:
Chances are, you're doing okay at this life.
(I mean, maybe you won't win any awards any time soon. But, you're most likely doing more good than bad, and more right than wrong.)

And I wanted to tell you that because (I don't know if you've noticed?) that doesn't get said a lot.

It's Too Late

You're already worthy.

When we operate from a place of total and complete comfort in our self-worth- the knowledge that there is nothing we have to do to earn it. It changes everything.

Suddenly you can drop the hustle. You know the one. The way you work so hard for your value. The way you BURN and STRIVE so that others will call you "good-enough".

When you *know*- there is no striving, there is no burning, there is only "good-enough" already... you can exhale. Perhaps for the first time.

So many people fear this space. They think it will look like mediocrity or underachievement. But oh, I guarantee you it is just the opposite! When we can get a handle on how exquisite and worthy we truly are, when we can drop the hustle, when we can exhale, we can actually BE all that we are meant to offer.

Like the most beautiful sunset you have ever seen, generously casting warmth and beauty, when we are seated in our own space of "worthy" we can finally BE worthy. Our glow isn't for anyone else's applause. Our glow simply IS.

You are already worthy.