Thursday

Care Providers Are Hurting

Can We Talk For A Minute?



To my readers who are care providers: the ones who wear work clothes marked by other peoples’ bodies. To those who consume copious amounts of caffeine so you can work while others sleep. To those who have held life and death in your hands and know the fragile knife point of the sacred and the tragic. To the ones who spent long years and the cost of a home for the privilege of working in such liminal space with far too little recognition of your sacrifice.

We need to talk.

Friday

What Is Birth Trauma?


Are you experiencing Birth Trauma?

Birth Trauma symptoms and resources:


If you found your way here because you might be suffering from Birth Trauma, here's what I want you to know first.

-You can love your baby and be grateful for your baby's health and still have birth trauma. People who suggest "just be thankful for a healthy baby" don't get it. They may mean well but they are shaming you. Do not listen to them. What you feel matters.

Nope. Try again.

"You're doing it," my particularly bossy friend told me in college.*

I didn't listen to her. Not the first time. Not the second time. Not even the third time.
"Just come to the interest meeting!"... she finally wore me down.

And with this, I embarked on one of my most formative experiences in life:

Sunday

Hack Your Brain, Reach Your Goals

It's no secret that the human brain is pretty terrible at long-term goals. Anyone who has started a diet knows exactly what I'm talking about. It sounds like a good idea on Monday, by Friday it's forgotten.

I'm going to give you some shortcuts to making your goals stick, keeping your brain motivated, and reaching your goals.


Thursday

Ladies, We Are Being Heard


Those of you who know me... for about 5 minutes... know that I have this passion (obsession?) with healing trauma. And a specific subset of this is my passion for treating birth trauma. I will talk about it to anyone who will listen (sorry) and basically think it's one of the foremost unidentified mental health issues of young women. That's all. I'm pretty much on a mission to tell the world about it.

Monday

Fear Sells. Don't Buy.

For our ancestors bad news was a matter of survival.

Knowing which berries were poison, which cloud pattern indicated a storm, or which bird song meant danger: this kept them alive. On the other hand it wasn't helpful to remember which trees were prettiest in the fall. The most beautiful sunset they ever saw? Well that wasn't going to keep them alive either. Over time nature rewarded the worry-warts and we've been living that legacy ever since.

So it's not your fault, you see.
You're biologically programmed to fear.

Shame Is Sh*t

I don't believe in shame.

Oh I hear you now- but "what about when I do something really terrible Krysta? I should feel badly for it."

Yes. Feeling conviction or remorse is a healthy sign of an intact conscience; but that's not shame.

Like hopelessness, shame seeks to have the last word. It's a period at the end of the sentence which intends to gobble up anything that comes after. Shame is sticky and heavy and weighs you down.

Friday

When Someone You Love Has Awful Politics


As a therapist
I’ve seen eyes roll.
Arms crossed.
Yelling.
Personal attacks.
Paint-melting rage.
I’ve even seen a checkbook thrown across the room.

And none of this compares to what I have seen this election season.

Tuesday

Tarnished

This morning I found it. A necklace I had lost almost three years ago. The crazy thing is, it was right under my nose the whole time.

I had been looking for a different necklace on my jewelry holder. This lead me to search a little deeper than I normally would and that was how it caught my eye: a tiny delicate diamond on a silver chain. It was snarled in a much larger clump and I almost missed it.

It used to be bright silver, and that’s how I knew it.